Breakfast of Champions

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down
in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a black
eye too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black
eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?".

The other guy says, "Well it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the
most massive breasts in the world was there. So instead of saying 'I'd like
two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said 'I'd like two pickets to
Tittsburgh,' and she socked me a good one."

The first guy replies "Wow, this is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister
too!
I was at the breakfast table this morning and wanted to say to my wife
'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You
ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-ass bitch.'"